"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a fucking retard. Really."

"No puppy! Bad puppy! Make you into puppy slippers."

"I think you should sit down. Surely your ankles can't take the weight."

"Shhhhhhhhh. shhhhhhhhh. I'm telling you: your voice, my ears. A bad combination."

"COCK HUNTER!"

"I haven't put on weight. Your eyes are fat."

"I don't want to die! I love sex. And furry animals."

"Of course I know where your eyes are. I just like staring at your tits. Thank you!"

"Don't worry. I'll find it. That's what I do, find things. I find you annoying. See?"

"Me, fat? Think again, titty-fuck. I taught my muscles to be in a zen-like state of relaxation. Permanently."

"Come close. I want to make sure you don't miss one bit of this: Cock off, cunt face!"

"Why don't you stand in fuck-up corner. You can stay there 'til, I don't know, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-you 'o clock."

"Awesomeness now has a name. Let me introduce myself."

"I'm gonna have a great day.... Don't you fuck it up."

"Tiptoeing elephants? Come on guys, give it up. I can see you! You're huge!"

"Hands up who wants sweets! Hands up! Awwwwww. You've got no hands. Sucks to be you, sweets for me."

"Are you listening? Are you? You listening good? Keep listening... PISS OFF MOTHER FUCKER, YOU WEEK-OLD BAG OF WANK! Thank you for listening."

"I like to picture you as road kill. Reversing over your body again and again, putting you out of your fucking misery."

"Here I am! Perfection on two legs."

"There's only one thing that comes as close as being as fantastic as me, and that's my reflection. All hail the beautiful mirror. Wow."

"Would you do me the honour of fucking off to the other side of the world, and staying there for the rest of your miserable life? Thank you!"

"Whoever invented calories is gonna get their face fucked with ice cream cake."

http://www.sleeptalkinman.blogspot.se/

Återigen så kan jag inte sluta, hes fuckin awesome.

-"Open your mouth once more, and I swear I'll chew your fucking lips off. Try singing show tunes then, dickwad."

-"I can rebuild the world... in paper-mache. Friggin' awesome!"

-"Cake and ice cream. A match made in belly heaven. Mmmm."

-"'Sea cow this' and 'sea cow that'. Fucking bastard sea cows taking up all the conversation! It's MY turn to shine."

Jag har citerat han förut men det är ju så förbannat bra!

Besök hans/hans frus blogg:

http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com

"You're so special. I bet you've even got sparkles in your shit."

"Live long and... tutti-fruity."

"Nature can be so cruel. I mean, look at you. How could it fuck up that badly?"

"Oh crap. It's Wednesday afternoon, and I've already got Friday brain."

"The problem with your face… is that I can see it. Get lost!"

"Even my reflection is jealous of me."

"If you're able to stop being a complete fucking wanker, I wouldn't have to hate you so much."

"Such a pretty pony... The fucker bites! Take out it's teeth, and give him rubber ones instead."

"My moose don't moo. It's a mute moose. I am not amused."

"I am simply far too busy being passive aggressive to give a shit about you."